dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
