It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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