I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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