the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
