there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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