i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
