im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
