he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
