how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
