My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
