called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
