how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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