i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Never let your siblings swipe right.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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