Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
