She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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