no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
