Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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