all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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