Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
