i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
