I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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