Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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