i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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