So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
