So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
