Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
