My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
