somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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