I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am full of burrito and curiosity
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
