Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
