Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
