her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
