I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
