Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
