is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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