Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My breasts were aching with rage.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
