just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
