Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
