True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
