Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
