I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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