Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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