did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
