Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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