What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
if only i could text you this smell
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
