scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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