i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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