She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
