Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize