I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
