I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
