She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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