Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
